As May rapidly approaches, I find myself going through the same process I gop through every May and September. I start thinking about all of the boirthdays and holidays I have missed out on, the times I have missed being told I love you daddy from collin and felicia. I don’t even know if they know I exist. I think about htem all the time and when their Birthdays get closer it just affectes me alot. I feel like such a faliure to them…all the time. Perhaps they are better off without me in their lives.. I don’t know. I just wish they knew how much I love them and miss them.